March 2005

How can my CTI Leadership training best impact my coaching clients?

by Judith Cohen

Dear Judith:
I just came back from my first Leadership Retreat and I am so jazzed about Co-Activity and the things we learned about in Leadership. I have all this energy that I am sharing with my clients, but I feel like something is off in my coaching since I’ve come back from Retreat 1. What can I do about it and am I the only one with this problem?
H.W.

Dear H.W.:
You are in great company, since you are not the only who has experienced a major change after going through Leadership training. It is a very empowering and exciting experience! The important thing to note, however, is that while Leadership is Co-Active, it is not coaching.

In leadership, the focus is on the leader’s stake. In coaching, the focus is on the client’s agenda. You can bring your leadership knowledge to bear by having your stake be Co-Activity and thus support your client’s Big A agenda. Where most people get into trouble after Leadership is that they impose their own agenda or stake on their clients. Not only is there a difference of agendas in leadership and coaching but there is also a difference of Level 3 energy. By definition, leadership puts the attention on the leader rather than the client.

Another place that this energetic issue shows up is after people take the In The Bones workshop. Often people misconstrue fierceness with pummeling and not listening at Levels 2 and 3. You can fiercely hold your client’s Big A agenda without energetically beating your client into submission. It is important to be able to have the ability to be evocative as well as provocative with your clients. A coach who only plays one note is predictable and ultimately boring. A true “In The Bones” coach naturally dances with both the client’s experience and their own evocative and provocative energies. Just as the most successful leaders are able to “create from everything,” the most powerful coaches are able to integrate all of the Co-Active coaching cornerstones, contexts and skills so that they can call forth whatever is needed in the moment.

Leadership and coaching can integrate through your client’s yearning. What does your client yearn for? What makes them feel fully alive? Whatever that is, yearn for it with them. In fact, yearn for it more than they do. Lead them right into the heart of their own yearning and then coach them to create their heart’s desire.

How do I work with a client who has just been diagnosed with a life threatening disease?

by Judith Cohen

Dear Judith:
One of my clients was just diagnosed with a life-threatening disease. I’ve never worked with anyone in this condition and I have no idea what to say or do. I feel really uncomfortable. Can you offer any suggestions about how to approach this client?
M.P.

Dear M.P.:
Your client is very lucky that you are a Co-Active coach. Co-Active coaching provides the perfect template not only for dealing with perfectly healthy people but for those who are suffering from life-threatening diseases, as well.

The most important thing to remember is that despite the fact that your client is currently physically ill, he or she is still naturally creative, resourceful and whole. That will never change.

The cornerstones and contexts of Co-Active coaching are an excellent guide to being with your client. What is your client’s Big A agenda? Now, more than ever, having your client experience her/his Big A agenda is essential. What is your client’s reason to live? Listening at Levels 2 and 3 to what your client is experiencing right now is also very important. Imagine what it is like for your client to have a safe and courageous space to talk about fears, hopes and gremlins about being sick and/or dying. Using your intuition, you can train your client to use his/her own intuition about what is most healing.

Self-management is an essential skill for you to master when dealing with issues of illness and mortality. Don’t let your fears block what is possible for both you and your client. Coming from deep curiosity about your client’s experience, what he or she yearns for, what is possible as a result of this experience, will also serve the healing process. Deepening the learning and forwarding the action can look like eating well and exercising or it could look like knowing when it’s appropriate to stop treatment. Designing your alliance and granting the relationship power is essential. This is also a model to encourage your client to use with medical professionals. Of course, illness provides numerous opportunities for dancing in the moment in big and little ways.

Skills such as articulating what is going on, metaphor, calling forth and championing are also excellent for eliciting healing. Life-threatening diseases are often daunting, and the powerful words of a coach calling forth the client can remind the client of his/her inner strengths and ability to persevere in the face of whatever obstacle emerges in the moment. Finally, each one of the principles are excellent for putting your client in touch with his or her inner and outer resources and Big A agenda.

Your client can be just as much a gift to your own learning and growth as you are to your client’s. Let this opportunity serve you.